Monthly Archive for October, 2009

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Say, “Yes” to Life!

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Providing inspiration, motivation, and encouragement for doing the hard work of recovery so that you can “Say ‘Yes’ to Life!”

Hello! My name is Kimberly Krueger, MSW, LCSW. I am the Founder/Director of the Southlake Center in Davidson, NC.

I am excited about sharing my experience, strength, hope, and expertise with you through my new “Say Yes to Life” Blog.

I have nearly two decades of experience helping people who struggle with eating disorders, body image disturbance, self injury, trauma, substance abuse, interpersonal relationship challenges, depression and anxiety. Beyond that, I know what it feels like to struggle from the inside out, because I have been in  recovery from an eating disorder, anxiety, depression and low self-esteem – for almost 20 years!

I do this work because I can see past the temporary struggle to the whole, healthy, vibrantly ALIVE human being underneath. I see you – and I know that just as I overcame my own battles, YOU CAN TOO.

This is why I have made it my life’s work to use my professional expertise and personal story to help and inspire as many people as possible who want to learn to say a firm and decisive NO to disordered thoughts and coping behaviors…and say YES to life!

I will look forward to hearing from you as we explore all of the ways you can say YES to recovery, to hope, to help, and to your own life. My colleagues will be blogging along with me on complementary topics – all in an effort to provide you with a comprehensive source of recovery, health, and wellness information!

As we go along, please feel welcome to share your comments, ideas, requests, and suggestions here, and let me know how I can support and encourage you.

Be Well.

Kimberly

Infertility: When to Say When?

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Most couples facing infertility treatment never expected to have difficulty conceiving a baby. Month after month of trying leads to a trip to an infertility specialist and before you know it you are in the midst of infertility treatments. You begin with monitoring your basal body temperature then move into taking some medication and before you know it you are making difficult decisions about things like surgery and using donors. It can all come at you very quickly and make you feel out of control. Dealing with infertility on a daily basis can take an enormous toll on you physically, emotionally and financially.

Which treatments to try, for how many cycles and how much money to spend? All are very difficult questions. The answers are different for each couple. What may feel right for one person might feel very wrong for another. It is important to honor your individual circumstances. No one has walked in your shoes, and though loved ones and medical professionals may give you advise, you are the only one that can decide when the time is right to grieve your reproductive loss and move on to explore the other options that may be available for building your family.

Struggling through all that comes with infertility can leave even the most grounded person feeling that they have lost control over their life. It can help to take a step back and have a conversation with your partner about your goals, ethical beliefs, physical and emotional stamina and financial situation in order to put you in a proactive mode instead of feeling that you are always reacting. Some topics worthy of discussion include:

Ethical Beliefs – It may be that you are ok with IUI, but IVF doesn’t feel right, or perhaps you are comfortable with IVF and a donor egg, but surrogacy is pushing the envelope for you. Think ahead as to what could be coming down the road so you will be prepared when the next option is presented.

Financial Investment – As much as you may hate to put a price tag on a child the reality is that infertility can be a very expensive endeavor with no guarantee of a successful outcome. Most people have a limit on what they can spend. It is wise to set a budget early on with an agreement not to go over it without additional discussion. As much as you may dread it you should also discuss what your contingency plan is. It may be that if you are not able to have your own child that you might consider some form of adoption in the future which may have a significant financial cost as well.

Time investment – Life can feel like it is at a stand still when you are going through infertility treatment. Your whole schedule is planned around injections, blood draws, ovulation, etc. Things like vacations are difficult to plan, not knowing if you will or won’t be pregnant. Again, it can be helpful to set a time table for yourself knowing that you will reevaluate your feelings when you reach that point. It is also important for women who are getting older to realize that some of their other family building options such as adoption may be threatened if they wait to long.

These are difficult decisions to make as an individual; they become increasingly complicated when trying to make them as a couple. It is rare for a couple to always be in agreement. Infertility can take an emotional toll on even the strongest of relationships which is why it is important to talk through these issues early on and to continue to communicate throughout the process. If you are really having trouble coming to a consensus get some assistance. Some couples find it helpful to work through these decisions in counseling with a therapist specifically trained in reproductive health issues (you can locate qualified Infertility Counselors at  www.ASRM/MPHG.org)

In the end only you will know when “enough is enough” and you are ready to move on. Trust in your judgment and expect that you may second guess your decisions in the future. “If we had just tried one more cycle…? If you do decide to walk away from infertility treatment be prepared to mourn the loss of the dream you had for yourself. Acknowledging the loss will allow you to grieve so that you can move on and explore other options such as adoption, fostering or deciding to live child free.

Erin Clark is a therapist who specializes in working with women and couples struggling with issues related to infertility, pregnancy loss and adoption. If you found this article helpful you can reach Erin through from our Contact Page

Supporting a Loved One Struggling with Infertility Can Be Confusing

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How Do I Support Her Through Infertility?

Supporting a loved one struggling with infertility can be difficult. How do I help? What do I say? When your spouse, friend or daughter is struggling through the ups and downs of infertility it is hard to know how to help.

For the woman who is struggling with infertility the emotional toll, to say nothing of the physical toll, can be immense. Every month brings the opportunity for new hope and despair. It is difficult to accept the fact that there is nothing you can do to fix the problem or to stop the hurt, but there are things that you can do to help:

Offer to lighten the load: Trying to juggle work and home responsibilities in the midst of infertility can often feel overwhelming. Be specific with your intent. Instead of saying, “Let me know if there is anything you need.” Offer to bring over a meal for her on a day that you know will be particularly trying, such as after an IVF treatment.

Ask her about her treatment: Most women are consumed with thoughts about their infertility and would appreciate the opportunity to talk about what they are going through. If she is not in the mood to talk she will likely let you know, but she will be glad to know that you will be there when she is ready to talk.

Keep asking: Unfortunately for many women the infertility struggle can be a long one lasting many months and sometimes even several years. As time wears on the emotional strain deepens. Try to avoid questions like, “Are you pregnant yet?” which can make her feel like a failure if the answer is no, and opt for something more supportive like “How are you holding up? It is helpful to know that you have people that will be there to support you regardless of how long it takes.

Don’t minimize her feelings: A platitude such as, “Well, at least now you know that you can get pregnant.” or “There’s always next month.” doesn’t erase the fact that she is hurting now. What may seem like a small set-back to you could feel huge to her. Don’t assume you know how she feels, even if you have struggled with infertility yourself. Each person’s reproductive story is unique.

Run interference: For a woman trying to have a baby it seems that everywhere she goes there are babies and everyone she knows is pregnant. Handling situations like family gatherings and holidays where it is likely that the focus is going to be on children can be especially painful. Try to anticipate people or places that might be difficult for her. Help her to steer clear of those things or give her an outlet if she needs to escape.

Be present: Sometimes empathy is the only tool in your arsenal. Being a shoulder to cry on or crying with her will help her through her grief and let her know that you care.

You may not always do or say the right thing to your special someone who is struggling with infertility, but what really matters is that you let her know that you love her unconditionally and will be there to support her whenever and however she needs.

Erin Clark is a therapist who specializes in working with women and couples struggling with issues related to infertility, pregnancy loss and adoption. If you found this article helpful you can reach Erin through from our Contact Page

Food Allergies on the Rise

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More than 12 million Americans suffer from food allergies.  Young children make up the highest percentage by age, with about one in 17 children under the age of 3 (5.6% of that age group) currently dealing with a food allergy.  Children aged 1 to 18 represent about 4% of cases and adults represent a slightly lower 3.7% of cases, according to the Federal Register.  And, while no cure has been officially found, there is new hope with current research that cures will be found in the near future.  Duke University, for instance, is having good results with therapies to eliminate peanut allergies.  And, luckily for many, most milk, egg, soy and wheat allergies are outgrown with age.

As a dietitian, I am seeing more and more clients trying to manage a food allergy…and it seems there is more to the story than just a higher diagnostic rate.  There actually seems to be an increasing number of individuals developing food allergies.  The CDC reports food or digestive allergy increased 18% among young people between 1997 and 2007.  And, between 1997 and 2002, childhood peanut allergies doubled.

Theories about why food allergies are on the rise include (but are not limited to):

  1. genetic susceptibility;
  2. the “hygiene hypothesis”(overuse of antibiotics, vaccinations and antibacterial cleaners leaves our immune systems open to attack other perceived toxins, such as foods);
  3. a lack of vitamin D, which plays a role in the immune system;
  4. an imbalance of omega-3 fatty acids to omega-6 fatty acids;
  5. and, the way foods are heavily processed.

Food allergies occur when the body mistakenly identifies a particular food as a health threat.  Unlike a food intolerance which causes a digestive response, an allergy involves a complex immune response.  Ranging from mild to life-threatening, the severity of a food allergy differs depending on the individual.  For some, a minute amount of food ingested or inhaled (perhaps if a child smelled a nut) can cause a reaction – even anaphylaxis (multi-factorial body response that can be fatal).  For others, it takes a larger volume of allergenic food for a reaction.

Food allergy causes about 30,000 ER admits and 150 deaths annually, according to the FDA.  Peanut and tree nut allergy represent the leading causes of fatal and near-fatal allergenic reactions.  And, although there are more than 160 foods that can cause an allergic reaction in humans, the top eight allergenic foods include peanuts, milk, eggs, tree nuts, wheat, soy, fish and shellfish.  The top eight cause about 90% of reactions.  New evidence points towards sesame as the 9th most allergenic food.

Sensitive individuals may react with hives or an eczema flare from skin contact.  In others, eating an allergen could trigger runny nose, coughing, wheezing, cramps, diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, a drop in blood pressure or a change in heart rate.  If someone has asthma, it increases the risk of a severe response.

Although there are different types of immunological responses, one of the most common causes the body to produce antibodies to attack the allergenic food protein.  These types of allergies are also called immediate onset, type 1 hypersensitivity or IgE-mediated food allergy.  They cause symptoms within seconds or up to a few hours after eating an allergenic food.  These allergies can be diagnosed with the usual medical tests such as skin prick test or RAST blood test or via an elimination diet (where the potential food is avoided for 1-2 weeks and then re-introduced to determine if a reaction occurs).  This type of food allergy is often inherited.

One type of immediate onset food allergy is Oral Allergy Syndrome (OAS).  This condition is caused by the cross-reactivity between pollens and the certain raw fruits and vegetables upon which the pollens are found.  Itching, burning, tingling and sometimes swelling of the mouth, lips, tongue and throat can occur.  In severe cases, it is possible to have an anaphylactic reaction.   Common foods implicated with OAS include: apples, almonds, apricots, bananas, carrots, cherries, cucumbers, hazelnuts, kiwis, melons, parsnips, peaches, plums, potatoes, sunflower seeds, tomatoes, various spices and zucchini.  For the estimated 36 million people with ragweed allergies, for instance, it is important to be aware about OAS.

In the “delayed onset” or “non-IgE-mediated food allergy”, delayed onset of symptoms occurs after a food is eaten (usually 4 to 24 hours).  While there are several types of this allergy, symptoms often exist in the first few months of life (infancy) and most are outgrown in one to three years.  An infant may refuse food, have failure to thrive, seem colicy, pull legs up or have reflux, diarrhea or blood in the stools.  Diagnosis is achieved with an elimination diet.  If an infant is breastfed, the mother would need to eliminate trigger foods from her diet (or use a hypoallergenic or amino acid-based formula).  Elimination of milk products is usually done first.  Since at least half of infants with a milk allergy are also usually allergic to soy, it may be recommended to a nursing mother to avoid both milk and soy.

Other types of food hypersensitivities (allergies and intolerances) exist and involve varying responses from the immune and/or digestive system.  Several GI disorders have been linked with food hypersensitivities, including irritable bowel syndrome, eosinophilic esophagitis and celiac disease.  Additionally, other diseases and conditions, including fibromyalgia, atopic dermatitis, migraines and even depression may have connections with how our bodies respond to certain foods.

Various therapies and/or treatments exist to manage food hypersensitivities.  If you or your child suffer from food hypersensitivity (or suspect one), here are some tips:

  • Work with a specialist, such as a board certified allergist to do appropriate testing in order to get a correct diagnosis.
  • Work with a dietitian specializing in food allergies to develop a safe eating plan.
  • Read food labels diligently to ensure you know what is in your foods.
  • Choose cosmetics like California Baby and high quality supplements (such as Nature Made vitamins) that do not contain allergenic ingredients like milk, soy or nuts.
  • Research! Learn about treatments and educate yourself.

Excellent sites to learn more:

Julie Whittington is a Registered Dietitian in the Lake Norman area. Contact her at juliewhittingtonrd@yahoo.com.

Fight the Fear of the Freshman 15

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Many college freshman worry about gaining the dreaded “freshman 15”. What they fear, in fact is that they will somehow gain 15 pounds during their freshman year at college, unintentionally.

When I counsel college students, I often encourage them to overcome the fear of weight gain and replace it with a sense of self assurance. When you understand your body does not intend to trick you or get out of your ideal body weight range, it can become easier to trust your body.

Unfortunately, an individual’s relationship with food can be a very complicated one. How many people do you see day to day who seem unhappy with their body? Or, perhaps it is the seemingly harmless comments like “I can’t eat that,” “I am so fat,” “That food is so bad for me,” or “I wish I could eat that.” None of these comments give respect to one’s body and in a sense, put a sort of distrust in one’s own ability to be healthy.

Combine that with the situation of a young man or woman embarking on the college path, leaving home (perhaps for the first time) and being confronted with countless choices and opportunities. Take it to the cafeteria or campus gym and you can often see anxiety escalade. Comparisons to other students (be it eating styles, study styles, workout routines, or the like) or even a desire to be so far different from usual can often lead individuals to an unknown place—where losing touch with one’s body signals and true self becomes the norm. And, it can be tough…to keep in touch with your true healthy self, especially if you are not sure who that true self really is or who it wants to be.

So, let us bring it back to the point of contention—how to avoid the freshman 15. Assuming that a college freshman is at a healthy weight (or even overweight) from the start, I can offer a few suggestions to help avoid unnecessary weight gain. And, even though the true weight gain someone might experience freshman year is likely to be less than 15 pounds (research points to a 2-5 pound gain, on average), these tips can help students make healthy choices during their college years.

Eat at regular mealtimes. Avoid going longer than 3 to 4 hours in between meals. Snacks help bridge the gap between mealtimes – especially when classes interfere with traditional mealtimes. Don’t let class get in the way of you eating breakfast, lunch or dinner!

Meet with a campus or local dietitian for an assessment of your dietary habits and for help making healthy food choices on and off campus.

Avoid frequent late night eating. While it is common to stay up late in college, be sure you eat according to your hunger levels rather than just because food is available. It can be tempting to overdo it on “free” food or food that you might not normally have ever eaten so late at night. However, frequent events like this can lead to unhealthy eating. Granted, it may be needed to have one or two pieces of pizza if dinner was at 5:00pm and you are still up studying at 10:00pm. Try to keep portion sizes in mind and mix up the routine. One night might be pizza, another might be yogurt and granola.

Stay hydrated! Many people often confuse hunger and thirst. Your brain needs water, just as much as it needs food.

Continue (or begin) incorporating regular physical activity into your schedule. A healthy balance is important – too much or too little exercise can interfere with healthy weight and stress management. See what clubs or classes are available, too. Classes like yoga and pilates are great, as they incorporate mind and body balance.

If you find yourself eating or restricting food in response to stress or anxiety, try to become more mindful about eating. Mindfulness is about being conscious about why you are eating. Are you hungry? Tired? Bored? Sad? The moment you begin to capture the true feeling of what is going on inside you, you can become more mindful about when you are hungry and when you are satisfied (not starving or painfully full).

If you struggle with separating food from your feelings, you are not alone. Seek out someone on or off campus to discuss your situation. Counselors, therapists, doctors and dietitians can all play a role in helping you to achieve life balance. There should be no stigma associated with seeking out someone to help you. Most people benefit from guidance—so seek out the options available to you!

Julie Whittington is a Registered Dietitian in the Lake Norman area. Contact her atjuliewhittingtonrd@yahoo.com.